Getting engaged is the worst thing you can probably do.
Yeah! It seems like this, though. All the butterflies in the stomach and enthusiasm of starting a new life vanish into the thin air when your relatives ask you the silliest questions and tease you. Well, a little teasing gives you goosebumps but some things they say are super irritating. When you smile, they think it’s because of ‘him’, when you talk on the phone, you are expected to be talking to ‘him’ and when you put on a little makeup while going to the office, you are meeting ‘him’, uh-uh, right?
You see a completely different side of the people you grew up with. It is quite shocking to see that new avatar of the aunt you admire so much, she really is capable of mocking so much too. It is really hard to deal with these people sometimes. Every trick in the book fails when these guys come prepared to bug you.
Don’t you face the same situation? The same dialogs…
#1. Baat hoti hai kya? Hmmm…Kya baat hoti hai?
Yes, of course, we talk. We are engaged and soon to be married. We need to talk about the present and the future. We talk a lot and we should. Why does that matter to everyone else? We talk about anything and everything. Why would I tell that to you? Uncles and Aunties, remember your days. We understand you didn’t have mobile phones in your time but that is not on us. Chill and don’t let the disappointment on us. And those young cousins who see you online on Whatsapp and send an annoying message; Beta tumhare bhi din aaenge, phir dekhna!
#2. Ab toh hamare liye time kaha!!
We need to make space for someone in our lives. We have to make some time too. But that does not mean we do not have time for you, Mamiji and Buaji. We have to manage the job, house and a new relationship. Please consider that and cut us some slack. And moreover, when I think deeply, we didn’t use to talk that much before my engagement too, why so drama?
#3. Tu toh badal gayi yaar engagement ke baad
Badal Gayi What? Did I get horns or tail? I have not changed, it’s your outlook that has changed. It took me years to build this personality and no damn person (no offense honey!) can change me in some days. I may be all pink these days or maybe eating less but that’s not because of the engagement, that’s because of the facial and indigestion, HA! The point is; I am the same but you are hell bound to find the difference and somehow, you do. Strange!
#4. Kaha Kaha ghoomne gaye tum log?
We have been engaged for a week and gone for a world tour together. Yes, sarcasm seems to be the best tool against the relatives sometimes. They do not take ‘Kahi nahi’ for an answer. I am a working woman and he is at the work too. You need to understand that it’s hard to plan and go out. We will, definitely, but there’s a lot of time. Let the things go the natural way, do not push anything on us. When we will feel comfortable with each other and we both have time from our busy schedules, we will go on a date.
#5. Notification Received! Ohh message aaya
The moment your phone buzzes, every damn person sitting in the same space starts staring at you and the phone. Of course, they are not gonna say anything but their attention is enough to make you feel uncomfortable. If you are too quick on receiving the phone, they give you that look like you are going to commit some crime by picking up that phone.
#6. Bas ab kuch hi din baaki hai, fir tu parai ho jaegi
Thanks for the update. This is the last thing a girl would want to hear after the engagement. She knows how marriages work in India. She knows what she may have to do in the future. There is no need to remind her that thing every damn day. A girl shares a special bond with her Mom and connection of soul with her father. It is quite tough for her already to enter a new phase of life without Mum Papa being in the vision. Please do not act like a countdown timer, don’t make my parent’s eyes numb saying such things.
#7. Ab neend to kaha aati hogi?
Hello, I am engaged not insomniac. Yeah, I manage some time to talk to ‘him’ and to know him better, and due to working schedules of both of us we talk at night. That does not mean I do not fell asleep. I do. And often during the conversation itself. I am a normal human being, or you can say engaged normal human being. So when I am yawning at work or in the morning, please don’t give me that look for God’s sake.
This post is not about giving the explanation or justifying ourselves girls, this is to tell those poking relatives that a ring in the finger does not change who we really are. A new member has joined our lives and everything is more beautiful than a dream. Let it be that way. Let us celebrate every moment of our lives. Tease us but don’t irritate us.
The courtship period is a great experience. Don’t hold back in expressing yourselves to each other. The better you understand them the better future life becomes.
Wish you all the best (and me too) <wink wink>.
Readers Nukkad 